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I do and I don't want to read.

Did you think this was a real date? I should have brought flowers.

[He looks a little amused; his tone slightly teasing.]

I just want to talk to you. Have that time alone.

[Gabriel's eyes widen. Flowers? At a date? Crowley had done that with Aziraphale and the notion makes him harrumph before shaking his head.] Flowers...would...not have been appropriate I think.

[he folds his hands and stares at him]

If you wanted to speak to me you could have called, or come to one of my sermons.

You are doing sermons? I wasn't aware of that.

[David takes a seat and orders a coffee - after a brief discussion with the waiter over bringing him the strongest they had.]

But I'm sure you have a crowd when you're preaching. I want something different and more intimate.

[Choice of words might seem more like this being a date again.]

So we can take our time.

Yes!
Yes
Yes! I do. [Gabriel beams at that.] It is a small flock certainly but it's not about my salary in this case but doing Her work and being...well. Angelic.
Time is relative for you.

[he pauses and stares at him, more animal then human. When he speaks again,Gabriel's tone is matter of fact. He settles in and folds one leg over the other.] Or - for me I should say. Human beings count time differently then I do. I'll give as much of it as I can here, but your time and my time is different. My time is eternal.

[barring certain concerns of his, but that is neither here nor there. He raises an eyebrow.]

So the correct response is.

[His hands fold.] I'd be taking your time. Limited though it may be...but that is...a problem for humans isn't it? Knowing this?

[He can't imagine it would please Jane or Kenzi or Poe or Richie or any of the others he met, to point it out.]

What would you like to talk about?

If your time is eternal, you won't mind losing an hour or two talking to me then. All for a charitable cause.

[With the auction.]

As a human, we do what we can with the time we have.

[He adds matter-of-factly.]

And I want to talk about you. Tell me more about yourself. As an angel. Your likes. Your dislikes. What you do in your spare time. What you think about the world.

[Gabriel has been here for over 4 months now. It's a fascinating place and he has seen enough to make him curious about the human condition. Still, the concept of sharing his likes - and dislikes -

and free will -

It's fine. He can do this. His jaw is totally not clenching slightly as a cup of straight black coffee arrives at their table. He sets it carefully on the books because he's reminded that Angels aren't supposed to dislike. Or like.

They're supposed to be a blank slate.

Several minutes pass before he presses his lips together and smiles - a feral too-bright animal smile at the other man.]

I play with my jackalope. And I hug him. Affection is good for living creatures and he is a very sturdy little fellow. He enjoys spending time with me. Sometimes I watch him and-

Oh! I have pictures!

[Pulling out his communicator he offers several very terrible photos of the jackalope - and one that is profoundly cute of the creature up on it's hind legs twitching it's nose. Gabriel's smile loosens a hair.]

...If you mean back in my world, I suppose...a hobby would be fashion. It's important for an angel to present a dignified appearance.

[He gestures to his very fine suit and pauses] but I could give it all up in a heartbeat.

[He looks briefly at the pictures but is more interested in Gabriel himself, noting the way he speaks and acts in the observant way of a watchful detective. He's not on a case and Gabriel certainly isn't a suspect but be may be staring just a little too intently at him between glances at his own coffee when he picks it up to sip it.]

So. Pets and fashion.

How you present yourself is important, I agree.

[Not that he's fashionable himself but he always maintains a professional, clean look to the public. His visible tattoos are from an earlier time in his life and often he keeps them as covered as he can when working.]

So what's the most important thing to you. An idea? An ideal? God?

[Gabriel doesn't pick up on the intense staring as he considers the notion - but he doesn't have to consider it.]

She is my judge. She is my strength. She is the most important thing to me.

[He is a favored child. A blessed child and he stares at his date totally and utterly confused.]

She is the most important thing.

And that-that is what no one understands. I was made to be her servant. I was made to serve and Aziraphale thinks that it's so easy to disobey. She made me and gave me my name and it's perfect and I want nothing more or less then to be Gabriel. She commanded me, she's never hurt me and she'd never, ever, betray me and I love her. I will always love her.

[Well.

He presses his lips together so tightly they turn white as he calms and smiles again.]

...Besides. Without her, I'd be out of a job.

[Aha. Heh.]

[It bothers him a bit the way Gabriel talks. To him, it sounds like the words of somebody indoctrinated and brainwashed into a cult. But of course this was a real angel speaking about a real god - so there was the difference. Still, a real god wasn't always the best example to follow. His encounters with his namesake of the Norse god Loki brought that into sharp focus and made him even more wary of belief in gods. His own faith had been shaken long ago by his upbringing in religious institutions. It's why he constantly questioned religious and spiritual views now - not to judge, but to try to discover the real truths behind it all. Even as Gabriel is smiling, Loki is frowning in seeming disapproval. But he's merely deep in thought. His next words are challenging.]

You are very reliant on her.

Would you be afraid to become a fallen angel if you ever actually disobeyed?

[And he'd spoken to one named Lucifer, which in itself had been a very interesting and enlightening conversation.]

[would you be afraid to become a fallen angel if you disobeyed

His features go white. Stark white before his jaw clenches and his lip curls upward in a sneer. It dissolves into a smile again.

He remembers.

He has a sword in his hand. He can feel the pommel and the grip. There is a smell, the first smell, brimstone and you would think it was easy but in the higher levels before they tried to work things out...

Michael roars commands and his wings are spread skyward. Angels are reaching for him and in a rabid fit of something he roars and a thousand mouths roar with him and his thousand eyes fill with fury. They betrayed her. They betrayed her...

But. Lucifer here is not as bad as his brother.

Outwardly he's quiet as he reaches for his coffee and takes a very long sip. And then he sets it aside.]

...would you want to never see your mother again?

[the words are spit out.]

...I will not fall. I will never fall.

[The reaction - subtle as it may be on the surface with just those venomous words - isn't unexpected. He knew it was a difficult question of a being such as this. But the words stung anyway and Loki blinks hard, looking away until the stress-filled facial tic subsides.]

I can't really answer that.

[He finally says very measured and quietly. He stares at his coffee then downs the remainder in a big gulp. He still hasn't looked again at Gabriel.]

I never knew my parents. I was abandoned.

[Gabriel has three reactions to this. The first is pity. The second, concern. The third...well the third is "of course he'd get it" but instead this man is truly bothered. He looks upset and he's not looking at him.

Annoyance at him, anger fills his mind and he reaches for another sip of his coffee.]

My...

My mother abandoned the fallen. She does not acknowledge them or love them. Would you wish that feeling, this feeling you feel on someone?

[He frowns.] I'm sorry. I think I've said something wrong.

[David shakes his head, blinks a couple more times and rubs his face as if he has a headache.]

No. No, it's fine.

And no, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

I get that you'd be afraid of being disobedient in that case. You saw what happened. So you kept yourself in line.

But still, being in fear of rejection shouldn't be a way to live your life.

[His features darken at that.]

It isn't rejection. It's what I was made for. Humans, you see, were made - indeed cursed with free will-

[And you have it too. Gabriel. He can practically hear Crowley's mocking tone and sincere desire for...what? To hurt him? Something unreadable crosses the other human's face and he finishes his coffee - feeling that now familiar delicious buzz - before he sighed.]

And the point is that I do too. And I can choose. I chose to stay with her and ...and be afraid because without people like me nothing would get done. Sometimes people just...sometimes people just need to be...

where they are.

[He sighed] I'm sorry. I don't think I'm making any sense.

I've had parents who think because they made their children then that means they can do whatever they want to them. That isn't right and your God letting people have free will can be a mixed blessing and curse but it's still better than being forced to obey.

Don't you think so?

I think I get it. You feel like it's your responsibility to do the right thing and follow her guidance.

Right?

And you think everyone should do as you do?

[Yes.

Maybe.

Yes.

Always Yes. I don't have a choice. How dare you assume I have a choice. That's so selfish I don't want a choice.

He loosens his tie and doesn't look at him, staring down at his feet as his body churns.]

It's-

[How to even begin to explain. He stares at him, hollow eyed, before he sets a hand on the table.]

If you could see your family. Have one. Feel that warmth and joy all the time. Would you want that?

[For David, that's perhaps a more difficult question than Gabe - or anyone else - thinks it is. He takes a moment to reply.]

That's an ideal that I don't believe exists.

[He's being a realist, but part of him would have liked that. He just feels so apart from it in his own life. Detached, even, from ever finding that sort of contentment.]

It sounds nice in theory.

[Gabriel has to think about that for a moment before his smile is genuine.]

...One of my favorite times of year is Christmas.

[This Christmas he spent it with the Hargreeves, trying to heal and understand them, but he holds out a hand.]

Do you celebrate it in your world?

That time of joy, that love, that warmth you feel. [He beams and focuses on it.]

That Christmas feeling. That love, that joy. Imagine that for eternity. Imagine it never ceasing. Imagine all the love you feel that one day that he gave you...eternal.

Is that what you feel? As an angel always serving your God?

[He asks, looking very directly and seriously at Gabe.]

I'm sure most people would choose to always feel happiness, if it actually was possible for humans to have that choice.

But that seems to also mean never to question it.

[Gone is the skepticism and even the anger. Now he looks confused and hurt.]

...Why would you want to question what makes you happy?

[He pauses] Wouldn't that make you happy? To...be surrounded by that same warm and loving feeling all year round?

That's what it's like to...to be there. To be with Her and in heaven and all she asks is to chose her.

We just can't interfere.

...wouldn't you want that?

Like I said, it sounds nice but it's unattainable.

I've never felt that sort of warmth. Not even at Christmas. Oh, I can see it from afar with families enjoying the holiday, but I'm usually working on that day and seeing the worst of humanity.

It's not something I can have. What you have with her.

[Gabriel looks comfortable at this. He settles back before smiling at him. Sincerely.]

We're on firmer ground here sir. My brother.

[He folds his hands] ...Are you tired of seeing the worst of humanity. Truly weary?

And is that what you want. That sense of feeling, that sense of warmth and love. Because I think I can at least...paint a path for you.

It doesn't matter if I'm tired of seeing it. It's there and all I can do is try to help through my duty as member of the police force. I'm not going to turn my back on that, even if the choice was eternal happiness. That'd be selfish if it was only for myself.

I can't take you to heaven, you have to chose to go - but if you want to remember the best of society and humanity can I suggest charity work?

[It's said totally sincerely as he sits back and folds his hands in his lap] People don't give me a lot of credit but I've always appreciated humans giving back. Taking a day, making a meal for someone.

Something that involves no violence, or pain, or at least not your pain but focus on the pain of others - the casual sorts of pain and donations and such that human beings do for each other.

You appreciate humans giving back... Are you doing any charity work yourself?

Apart from offering yourself up for this date auction.

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Detective D.W. Loki

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